STATUS
(Social Media, Part 4)
by @JAHuss
Genre: Adult Contemporary Romance
MovieStar @VaughnAsher
@FilthyBlueBird #DirtyHeaven is mine tonight.Grace @FilthyBlueBird
@VaughnAsher I own #DirtyHeaven, bitch. #VaughnAsherIsMyBitch
MovieStar @VaughnAsher
@FilthyBlueBird #FlashbackTime Get ready.
Grace @FilthyBlueBird
Come here and take off my lip gloss @VaughnAsher #OnMyKneesWaiting
MovieStar @VaughnAsher
@FilthyBlueBird #Flashback to last night. Oh, you weren’t wearing lip gloss. But you are now. #GetOnYourKneesAndWait
Grace @FilthyBlueBird
@VaughnAsher – Dabbing lips with a napkin. #ThatAllYouGot?
Finally… Grace sees me in a different light. The banter is flirty, the sex is fun, and the future looks fabulous. I just hope she feels the same way when she finds out what I did.
Can his life really have been so charmed? That he has no fear of losing anything? God, what would that be like? “I don’t think I understand you, Asher.”
“Asher?” he asks, sitting up a little straighter so he can look at me. But I turn my head so he can’t. “Why the hell are you calling me Asher now? What did I do?”
“I just can’t relate. And even though I shouldn’t hold it against you, I do. I’m fucking pissed that my life is so fucked up and yours is so perfect.”
“Perfect?” He laughs. I can feel it through his chest. “You know, my whole life people have thought that about me. I’ve heard it so many times I stopped listening. But coming from you, shit. That kinda hurts.”
I scrunch up my face in confusion, but I stay still. I know it’s wrong to assume his life is perfect, but from my perspective, it is. There’s just no comparison.
“You want to know my demons, Grace? Do you need to know my secrets to be able to accept that I’m capable of understanding what you feel? What do you need?”
Do I? Do I need for him to be damaged for me to accept this… whatever this is? And if I do, what does that say about me? That I can only relate to the lost and the tragic?
“Because if that’s what you need, then fine. I have never really articulated it in words before. I’ve never had to,” he says in a whisper as he gives me a squeeze. “No one ever wanted me to justify my personal trauma to prove that I can understand them. But I will.”
“Wait.” I stop him with a hand on his chest. I push myself up so I can look him in the eye. “If this is really fucked up of me, then no.”
“Grace, why does it matter if it’s fucked up? Why do you care what I think of your request?”
“Because I don’t want you to think I’m…” I let out a long sigh. “That he… ruined me. That I’m damaged and dirty and unlovable.”
“Do you think he ruined you? Do you feel damaged and unloved?”
“Yes.” I exhale and then immediately take a huge gulp of air. “Yes, I think all that stuff.”
“Then why do you want to hide that?”
“Because…”
“Because you think I won’t love you?”
“How can you?”
His brows knit together, his confusion so real, painted so clearly on his face, it sets me back a second. “Jesus, I’m not that shallow, Grace. I am a human being.”
“I didn’t mean it—”
“No,” he says, cutting me off harshly. “Enough with the didn’t mean it bullshit. OK?” his eyes dart back and forth as he searches for my intentions.
What are my intentions? “I just…” I have to swallow hard and look away. “I just… need reassurances.”
He shakes his head. “Try again, sweets. I’m not interested in lies, and maybe you’re not lying to me, but you’re lying to yourself. And if we’re in a relationship, that’s the same thing.”
PROFILE (Social Media #5)
All the best fairytale princesses have the most horrific pasts. Mine just happens to be more horrific than most.
Fantasizing over Vaughn Asher was a dream. Meeting Vaughn Asher was a fairytale. Loving Vaughn Asher was my downfall.
The past is always there. Waiting. Waiting to expose you. Waiting to ruin you. Waiting to take you back. Sometimes not even a prince can save you.
J.A. Huss likes to write new adult books that make you think and keep you guessing. Her favorite genre to read is space opera, but since practically no one reads those books, she writes new adult science fiction, paranormal romance, contemporary romance, urban fantasy, and books about Junco (who refuses to be saddled with a label).
She has an undergraduate degree in horses, (yes, really– Thank you, Colorado State University) and a master’s degree in forensic toxicology from the University of Florida. She used to have a job driving around Colorado doing pretty much nothing but shooting the breeze with farmers, but now she just writes, runs the New Adult Addiction and Clean Teen Reads Book Blogs, and runs an online science classroom for homeschoolers.
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